I don’t know what pride is supposed to consist of

But I wonder if it consists of this.

Of this perpetual silence where I never address my blackness or sexuality.

I wonder if pride could just be me

Living, breathing, surviving

Instead of moving, posting, thriving.

Can pride look like this?

Can pride look like black skin moving without chains wrapped around its wrists?

Can pride feel like freedom

The freedom to love who I want

Or the freedom to be black

With no fear of the end of life?

Can pride look like essays and dissertations on the problems with blacks and mass incarceration but never any protests?

Can pride be the way I walk?

The way I walk or shake your hand?

Can pride be inherent rage

But never anything I would verbally express?

Can pride be me without having to post my views on Twitter?

Or am I just another person

Looking, wanting, and failing to find the confirmation I needed?

 

If I was truly prideful, would I need your likes or retweets? If I was truly prideful,

Do I need to scream and shout my thoughts or feelings,

Or could you just stay tuned and pay attention like normal people do?

If I was truly prideful, why would your acceptance of my blackness and gay identity matter to me?

 

I’m the one living, breathing, fucking

Moving, pushing, thriving

Looking, wanting, and realizing that this body is just enough

My mind is just enough

And am I everything I ever needed.

 

Am I not what pride looks like?

And If I’m not what pride looks like, then what is?